Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Tee hee! That tickles.

"One of us! One of us! One of us!"

Why join the Greg Kramer Fan Klub? Good question. Well, if you've seen Greg perform on stage or television, or read one of his books or short stories, you don't need to ask "why." The guy's got talent, and loads of it. He sometimes keeps it hidden to prevent theft, but most of the time it shines.

More importantly: Misery loves company.

Oh, you meant why "Klub" with a "K"? Because we hate spell-checkers, that's why. Abso-fuquen-lutely. I'm sure some of you observant puppies have noticed that FK could stand for both Fan Klub and Forever Knight, the latter being the television series in which Greg pops up like a worn-out old dishrag. This may or may not be a coincidence.

GKFK members are a not like OTHER fan club members - no siree Bob! (Bob who?) No objectification of the glossy Hollywood machine here! Not to say we don't drool over Greg. Some of us do (though I refuse to embarrass anyone by naming names though I really wish they'd mop up their own spittle puddles). The guy has a twisted sense of creativity and thus his loyal followers look up to him as an example (good or evil) when we undertake our own endeavors. If a freak like him can make it, we can, too!

As Greg's fond of saying, "If it can be imagined, it can be done."

He's also been known to deny everything and smile benignly in the face of calamity.

Right now, the GKFK is web-based and absolutely FREE! All you have to do is subscribe to the mailing list. We will send someone from our shadowy agency to your home address to install the cranial implant under the guise of a nifty ear-ring. Too late. We already know who you are.

Of course, breaking Greg Kramer News is posted to the gkfk mailing list FIRST! Hear about his latest television appearances, stage roles, readings and book release-dates BEFORE the police, the FBI, the UN and those other fannish cults! Share information about your own creative plans to take over the world, and discover how well your fellow fans are doing with their new medications.... Greg's even been known to send a message to the mailing list via a klub spokesperson, but we suspect this could be alien propaganda in preparation for when the mother ship arrives to take him home....

The Greg Kramer Fan Klub: surely a sign that Western Civilization as we know it is at an end! Join now, if you dare!

Sign me up! Send me more info

You are getting sleepy, very sleepy...

His future's so bright... CHECK THIS GUY OUT ... he's gotta wear shades!

Leave me out of this!
or at least the things he'll admit to
'Ey, watch where ya point tha' thingee!
who can't love a rat-slurping vampire?
All right! Way to go!
award-winning and everything!
Whoop! Whoop! Dignity at all costs!
a weird bunch, but ya gotta luv 'em
No promises!
say, was that Greg Kramer?
Congratulations! You are victim number 1000!
the assassin with the smoking gun
Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
love Greg, love his cat
Now, tha' tickles me ... fancy!
over 100 plays and counting

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