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RAT: 1. A rodent similar, but larger than, a mouse. A member of the family Rattus. Considered a pest and carrier of disease by some, a pet by others. Often used for scientific research and food for pet reptiles. 2. One who tattles, or rats, on his associates or friends. 3. The animal which has cursed, or blessed, Greg Kramer throughout his acting career.
* * * * * Greg Kramer's first role was as a narrating rat in Dick Whittington, a school play, at the age of five or six. Years later, he actually appeared with a rat on stage in Richard Lucas' production of Oliver! in which he played Fagin. It was an experience he'll never forget. "If you've seen the film version of Oliver, you'll know there's a scene where Fagin threatens the young Oliver with a toasting fork, 'What didja see, boy? Eh?' Well, in our production, we didn't have a toasting fork. We had Napoleon the rat. One night, at the moment Napoleon got thrust into Oliver's face, he dropped his tail and emptied his bladder. I don't know who was more aghast: me, Oliver, or the rat!"
Perhaps Napoleon had a bit of stage fright. Or it very well could be the rat was merely gazing into the future. After all, Greg became known to the scores of Forever Knight fans as Screed, a rat-slurping carouche-vampire. The mere thought of the popular character is enough to cause any rat to lose control of all bodily functions.
* * * * * When I asked about his true feelings toward the wee beasties, Greg described rats as "sweet little things...." However, I'm quite sure he was referring to his experiences performing with them. Licorice Allsorts, after all, are his favorite snack, not rodents.
* * * * * When he isn't acting, multi-talented Greg has plenty of other creative pursuits to keep him occupied. He's a musician, magician, artist, playwright, novelist, stage director, and can spew Jell-O out of his nose. He attributes this diversity to his childhood: "I grew up without a television in the house. My mother taught art; all of us kids -- there are seven of us siblings in all -- play a musical instrument. The house was full of books and we were never at a loss for anything to do."
* * * * * There may not have been a television in Greg's house, but he picked his childhood chums by what they watched on television so he could follow his favorite programs, Dr. Who and Batman.
* * * * * How does he find time for all his various careers and activities? "It gets very hairy sometimes! My daybook looks as if someone threw up in it. I try to keep my priorities to the commitments that I've made to others ... but if there's anything that takes priority, it'll be my sanity."
An early attempt to put his sanity at the forefront happened when he was six years old and took up magic to try to make his big brother disappear. As early as the late seventies, he was performing in nightclubs with the eighties being jam-packed. "Magic is a tricky thing (every pun intended). The environment has to be right for me to do it these days." He occasionally still performs as a magician if he thinks the gig is worth doing. Greg's even taken this skill to the big screen as a magic advisor for Disney's Earth Star Voyager and has done special effects for the theater.
"If you can imagine it, it can be done," Greg explained.
* * * * * Noting that everything Greg's done has been of the artistic persuasion, I couldn't resist asking what career he'd choose if required to give up all creative and performing options. "If I had to give up all creative pursuits, I would not be a very happy bunny, and would probably turn into a serial killer ... or a government employee ... or...."
* * * * * Greg's been scribbling ever since he's been able to hold a pencil in his fist. This addiction has resulted in two novels: the pursemonger of fugu: a bathroom mystery and Couchwarmer: a laundromat adventure. His most recent addition to Canadian bookstore shelves is Hogtown BonBons, a collection of short stories originally printed in the Toronto edition of the monthly circular Xtra!.
He started writing the first after finishing directing Marat/Sade, a huge theatrical production involving over fifty people. He never wanted to deal with an actor again. "Obviously, I'm over that now. The novel was a way to gain creative control over my life, instead of sitting by the phone waiting for someone else to give me validation for my existence. (Heavy, huh?)"
To his surprise, Pursemonger was shortlisted for the 1996 City of Toronto Book Awards. "It was a great accomplishment, and I got one-thousand dollars and breakfast with the Mayor! It's very different to be lauded for something by someone who hasn't met you or seen you on stage or TV. At least excuses can't be made for my 'magnetic personality.' With the book it meant that it was good enough to stand up on its own. That felt real special!"
Pursemonger stars Adelaide Simcoe as a housewife-type widow who has been left well-to-do by her late husband, and the fact he is "late" means she's free to pursue interests and ideas her spouse forbade. A strong, believable character, Adelaide finds herself in the midst of a bizarre murder investigation stemming from the death at an art exhibit focusing on bathrooms. Greg managed to create a realistic woman when many male writers fail quite miserably. How did he do it? "Let's just say I must be in touch with my inner matron...."
The inside cover to Pursemonger announced he was already busy with the second novel featuring Adelaide. However, Greg's second book turned out to be the story of Cherry Beach, a down-and-out character of "ambiguous gender." Born with organs of both sexes, Cherry has spent his/her life being switched from male to female and back again depending on the whims of her/his so-called care-givers and doctors. As an adult his/herself s/he stays with whomever will let Cherry sleep on their sofa as s/he makes his/her rounds through the nightclub and party scene. Then one day in a laundromat, Cherry stumbles across a bag full of lottery tickets which turns out to be a mixed blessing. After all, s/he knows about the goddess Santa Calamity d'Oopsidaisy, patron saint to the inattentive and clumsy, all too well!
* * * * * Back in 1982, Greg was counting on winning the lottery himself so he could pay his rent. Oopsidaisy, he didn't win. He hasn't played since.
* * * * * Greg heavily researched his intersexed character Cherry. "Check out the Intersex Society of North America on the web (hermaphrodites with attitude). Be ready to have your mind thoroughly boggled." The url for the webpage is: http://www.isna.org/.
But what of Adelaide and her promised future adventures? She turns up in Hogtown Bonbons along with Cherry Beach and other Greg Kramer-created characters.
Adelaide may end up "resurfacing" on the big screen. Both pursemonger and Couchwarmer have been optioned as possible movies. Greg asks that his fans stay tuned for further developments!
* * * * * Greg's favorite movies is Sante Sangre (Holy Blood). I was surprised to find his favorite book is also one of mine: The Cat in the Hat. By the way, Greg has a cat by the name of Cosmo. As far as I know Cosmo doesn't wear a hat, but maybe this also is his favorite book.
* * * * * Both of Greg's novels were written in first and third person styles, a conscious effort on his part. In fact, they followed a strict formula of his own invention concerning where each voice was used. "Basically the books are based on tarot cards. Court cards (kings, queens, knight and jacks) are written as monologues (first person) and the rest is done in third. For pursemonger, which was based on the 22 cards of the major arcana (hence no court cards), I used the first person for the voice of the murderer. There are slight variations from this structure in both books, the reason for which are very esoteric and best put down to 'artistic license!'"
Writers often observe the people around them, including friends and acquaintances, in order to create believable characters. Greg was no different when it came to his novels and short stories. "The characters are quite clearly 'amalgamations' of different acquaintances/fictional characters, etc. Anyone who 'recognized' themselves in my pages quickly realized that there were way too many differences for them to complain ... and that, ultimately, the story takes over from reality. I have had people THINK they were included when they WEREN'T. To which, I just smile quietly to myself...."
Besides novels and short stories, Greg is also a playwright. There are definite differences between writing prose and writing for the theater. Not only in the obvious format variations, but in dialogue and action as well. Most writers have a preference; when it comes to Greg Kramer, emphasize MOST. "Theatre is a COLLABORATIVE art form. Novel writing is a SOLITARY art form. There are times and places for both in my life."
As for the differences between writing short stories vs. novels, Greg explained, "When you've finished writing a novel, there's about 120,000 words or so. At the end of the short story, there's only 5000! Other than that, it's the same amount of energy that goes into both, the same amount of care and consideration, etc. And much the same amount of time, truth be told. I have to say I prefer novels. I like going in for the long haul, and the rewards feel greater."
* * * * * All three books are available off the shelf in Canada or via mail order the world over. As of the writing of this article, the books are available from Duthie Books in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. In North America, call 1-800-663-1174, all others call 1-604-732-7631. Pursemonger is also available in the United States from your local bookstore or through US-based web-based booksellers such as amazon.com. The other two must be ordered through Canadian stores at this time.
Ask for the pursemonger of fugu: a bathroom mystery (ISBN 1-896332-00-5), Couchwarmer: a laundromat adventure (ISBN 1-896332-021), and Hogtown BonBons (ISBN 1-896332-11-0) by Greg Kramer. Shipping is available to most countries.
* * * * * Since his mother taught art, it is no surprise that Greg is also an artist. His illustrations grace Pursemonger and Hogtown BonBons. The cover of pursemonger includes a globefish he drew as well, superimposed over La mort de Marat by Jean Louis David. Greg's pen and ink illustrations precede each chapter in the book, serving as a delightful montage announcement of what adventure Adelaide will endure next, leaving his fans wondering if there's anything this man can't do. Each piece manages to meld ordinary items with the bizarre; even an ordinary plate of bacon and eggs becomes ominously intriguing. Talented Ian Phillips provided the cover art for Couchwarmer when Greg didn't have time to do it himself. He also believes in "spreading the wealth" to other artists who need the work. Greg loves Ian's stuff, with obvious reason to all who gaze upon the novel's cover.
* * * * * How does one keep Greg occupied in the rare moments he's not busy with one project or another? Put him in front of a piano -- he says you might not see him again for days. He took piano through to Royal Conservatory Grade VIII. In the early 80's, he was musical director for Incubus Theatre, a touring company in Europe. He recently tickled the ivories for the on-stage musical tribute to Patsy Cline, Patsy.
Back in London during the early punk days, he played with a couple of bands, including The Ricky Wales Band. Now he prefers Jazz improv.
Music hasn't been a focus for Greg since the late 70s. Neither love nor money could entice him back these days; however, this doesn't stop him from listening to CDs, cassettes and vinyl records. When it comes to the radio, he enjoys listening to the CBC, alternative and jungle.
* * * * * Although Greg trained as an actor at the Mountview Theatre School in London, England, he attributes much of what he's learned to his early days of touring with the Incubus Theatre. After more than 100 shows, he claims he feels "like a worn-out old dishrag...." While he enjoys the technical requirements of film and television, Greg said that "the control of theatre is such a drug to me ... there's no substitute for a live audience. It's so much more three dimensional. Imagine turning up for work at the theatre one night and finding five million people all sitting in one seat! That's film and TV. For those of you who don't go to theatre, you're missing out!" Greg's experienced as a stage director. He'd like to direct films or television. However, he thinks he'd need to learn a bit more about lenses and lighting before taking that step.
His very long list of stage roles have included the Marquis deSade in A Hole in My Heart As Big as My Heart, the title role in Shakespeare's Richard III, Ariel in The Tempest, Mephistopheles in Faust, the Vampire in the Son of Incubus Theatre's touring production of Lies of the Vampire, and the Ringmaster in Barnum.
Greg's appeared as a guest star in many television series including Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, Goosebumps, Bailey's Law, Airwolf, La Femme Nikita, Psi Factor, Due South, the recurring character of Mr. Murphy in John Woo's Once a Thief, and then, of course, there's his memorable performance as Screed in five episodes of Forever Knight.
* * * * * Baring the truth about his favorite role, a stage appearance, Greg told me it was when he appeared as The Devil Dog in Peter Hinton's production of The Witch of Edmonton. The cast consisted of 23 females, all wearing full Jacobean costume, and Greg. He was naked, in a manner of speaking. He did wear a collar, leather cuffs and head-to-toe body paint.
* * * * * Forever Knight fans know Screed as a rat-sucking, uniquely speaking, imaginatively mannered "carouche" vampire with a wonderful, total-lack of fashion sense. Greg knew he'd won the part by the time he walked out of the audition room although there were other actors up for the role. "In the words of Bruce Beaton, a Toronto actor, when I arrived, he said, 'Oh-oh, Greg Kramer's here. Everybody go home.'" Still, he was cast in the role fair and square.
As for Screed's famous domed head, Greg already sported the lack of a hair-style before the audition and had for about a year. The look was first adopted by Greg for a role in which he portrayed "a young son whose hair falls out due to a nuclear blast" in Incubus Theatre's touring production of The Old Testament. Since that time, he's shaved his head for many roles throughout his career. At the time he won the part of Screed, he was still bare-headed from the role of the Marquis deSade in Jim Millan's production of A Hole In My Heart. Luckily, the look also suited Renfield in Dracula, the part he'd played right before his Forever Knight audition. Currently, his red hair is in a #1 / #2 buzzcut.
* * * * * Other Greg Kramer stats: 5'10", green eyes, and in his kitchen cabinet can be found cornflakes, coffee and Echinacea. His favorite color used to be green, now it's blue.
* * * * * Greg's talent with accents also came in handy for Screed's colorful lingo. He attributed this ability as a skill necessary for survival when you come from the United Kingdom. "If you get in a taxicab with a posh accent, you'll be overcharged. If you order a meal in a fancy restaurant in Cockney, you could end up doing the dishes!" If he hasn't traveled to an area to learn the accent, such as New Zealand, he's familiar enough with it through people he's known and loved to pull it off.
* * * * * Greg calls the nightclub scene "... the lifeblood of a city, a measurement of anonymity (i.e., just a place to party)." If he were checking out a new underground bar and chanced to run into Screed, Greg said he'd probably "buy the poor sod a drink."
* * * * * Screed's dialogue was written to the letter and Greg was required to stick to the script exactly. Problem was, he often had no idea what Screed meant and no one seemed to be able to help out. "What you see on screen is an actor desperately trying to make sense out of gobbledigook." Fortunately, Greg said that memorization, be it Screed-speak or Shakespeare, has never been a problem.... "What did you say your name was?"
Anastasia Romanov.
* * * * * As for his character's unique fashion sense, Greg supplied the boots and the infamous leather skullcap. The latter was originally used by Greg in a production of Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream at the Vancouver Playhouse. Not, as one might suspect, for Puck, the "merry wanderer of the night," but for Mustardseed. "I was fire-eating for the role (hot breath, mustardseed, gettit?) and couldn't have any hair flying around to get burnt off." At the time, Greg was as attached to his bleach-blond-blue locks as the hair was attached to his head and didn't want to get it shaved.
Everything always seems to revert to the hair issue in his career. Or rats.
* * * * * We now know the truth about his hair, but, uhr, what about, you know, THE question.... Well, Greg prefers cotton Jockey midways beneath it all. I couldn't bring myself to inquire about Screed. There's some things even I don't want to know.
* * * * * Screed was originally supposed to be some form of demented bicycle courier. Greg has no idea where that one came from -- or went. Since no one was keeping up with the character, Greg did invent his own character sketch of the "poor lad," but information like Screed's 450-year age came in "Fever," the episode in which he died, so was too late for Greg to do anything with those facts.
As a, what Greg terms, "plebe actor," there was only a limited amount of input he could have on the television series. But he did have fun with the role, and as the third season progressed, it was written more and more around his portrayal.
* * * * * Screed's fans call themselves Ratpackers, and usually list "Fever" among their favorite episodes although the character dies of a sort of vampire-form of AIDS during it. Greg found out Screed was dying prior to receiving the script, at least about a half hour before. I asked if it was an emotional challenge to portray Screed in "Fever" considering the messages of not judging an entire community due to their lifestyle or illness.
"It was a privilege."
* * * * * A point of debate for Forever Knight fans is whether or not Javier Vachon is Screed's creator/master. Greg's opinion is the Spaniard vampire wasn't anything of the sort: "And boy, is that ever a bone of contention!"
The following, in Greg's own words, is with HIS caveat that because they never officially addressed the issue, it's all open to interpretation. If it had been written into the series that Vachon's was Screed's master, then that's what it would have been. No saying, "Greg Kramer said ... so it must be so," or "In Libby's interview ... so that's the way it is...." Right.
Okay, this is Greg's opinion: "Firstly, get out yer encyclopediments an' look up 'Conquistador.' The years are quite precise: 1540-50. If Screed is 450 years old, then Vachon would have had to have brought Screed over when he was about 4 or 5 years old. Secondly, I don't think Screed would have stuck around to help Vachon evade the Inca for all those years on the run if there had been anything other than an equal-status thing happening between them. I don't think that Vachon would have created a 'running crew' out of loneliness or moral support (as has been suggested) ... viz 'Hearts of Darkness' with Urs ... I think it much more likely that the ol' V-Man stumbled across Screed in his travels and recognized him for what he was (yeah ... but what IS he? hehehe). Lastly, there was a whole section of my text that didn't make it into the final cut of 'Fever' that was about Screed's ship going down and the time when he was brought across ... info that he was TELLING Vachon, I believe for the first time and no mention of who his master was." When asked what would've happened to Screed had the vampire not died and the series not been canceled, Greg replied, "Um ... I think he would have gotten together with the squeegee kids and started a whole gang of street urchin-like vampires who approach waiting cars (i.e. victims) at stop lights and clean windshields in return for ... a bite?"
* * * * * Greg's favorite bit as Screed was in the flashback of "My Boyfriend is a Vampire" when Screed, Vachon and Bourbon were busy with their wenches/evening meal. "... The babes in the hayloft, dousing myself with water, avoiding the back end of the horse, and spouting off on the subject of marriage and the delights of being a vampire. Gotta love that, eh?"
The filming of the flashback sequence ended up to be a little more eventful than even the scriptwriters had anticipated. In a bit not used, Screed and Bourbon were chasing Vachon when Greg took an awkward step. He ended up breaking a bone in his foot.
Vamping out also proved to be a challenge to Greg's agility. "The teeth make you unintelligible and the contact lenses reduce your vision something akin to peering down a long, hazy tube of Vaseline while being on Valium. My stupidity level always took a jump to 'cretin' level and I'd continually be bumping into furniture, etc."
He wishes that his character had been given the opportunity to interact with LaCroix. He feels as though that side of the plot never really got explored -- how Urs ended up in the Raven, etc. "I think the 'gang' potential never got off the ground."
Greg did have several scenes with Nick, played by Geraint Wyn Davies. However, the most memorable moment concerning the two actors occurred when Ger was not even in the scene. "... I was dying in Ben's arms in "Fever" and we were fooling about, cracking some joke or other ... when from the other side of the studio, Ger yells, 'Girls! Girls!'"
* * * * * Most actors occasionally spout a profanity or two when a shot doesn't go exactly as planned. Greg prefers "cor blimey" or "absofuknlutely" when it comes to the art of cursing.
* * * * * There were already many connections between Greg and other actors in the Forever Knight series when he won the part of Screed. He'd worked with Geraint Wyn Davies in an episode of Airwolf; Lisa Ryder he knew from the theater scene, although he'd never actually worked with her before; he'd seen Blu Mankuma work in Vancouver; and Nigel Bennett had worked with a good friend of Greg's in England.
Greg's role as Mr. Murphy, a recurring character, in John Woo's Once A Thief aired in Canada and forty-nine other countries, but not the United States. However, the pilot (which Greg was not in) is available on video tape and also aired in the US on the Showtime cable network. Four other episodes (which did include Greg) were spliced together and aired on Showtime.
Mr. Murphy was one half of The Cleaners. The other half, Mr. Camier, was portrayed by Julian Richings. The series is based on the feature film by the same name, with the characters and premise being different. Basically, the series involves a super-secret government shadowy-spy agency employing a couple of ex-cons to help fight crime in North America.
Pairing Julian with Greg was, according to Greg, in many people's view an inspired piece of casting as they are often up for the same roles. They've also worked in theater together, most recently in Henry Knight's Ibrahim Pasha. A few years ago, Greg did a Jell-O commercial with Julian, where they both played knights of the Round Table.
Nigel Bennett and John Kapelos, both Forever Knight veterans, appeared together in a Once A Thief episode entitled "Drive, She Said." Greg commented working with them was excellent and brilliant. "Those guys know how to make a long day last forever ... (!) Seriously, they lightened up the mood on set, came through with their professionalism and managed to be human beings at the same time."
* * * * * When all is said and done, Greg appreciates his fans. He's previously been a guest at Toronto Trek and hopes to do further conventions in the future. Meanwhile, he met several of his fans when a special gathering was held following his performance in the play Red River. He was surprised and delighted to find they not only were fans of his acting, but his writing as well. "People never cease to amaze me," he explained, then added teasingly, "and to discover that they can READ as well!"
* * * * * As for what the future holds when it comes to Greg, "... a motorbike, a pin-ball machine, and wide open horizons...." Along with big Halloween celebrations, since it is his favorite holiday.
* * * * * Greg Kramer now has an official internet-based fan club for fans of both his acting and writing talents, The Greg Kramer Fan Klub. Membership is FREE. To join, go to: gregkramerfanklub-subscribe@onelist.com or contact Libby Singleton at LibRatsie@aol.com or gkfanklub@hotmail.com to be subscribed to the list If you do not have internet or e-mail access, Libby will provide you with periodic printouts of all Greg Kramer news and discussion. For more information on joining off-line, write Libby at The Greg Kramer Fan Klub, c/o Libby Smith Singleton, 321 S. Fourth St., Benton, AR 72015, USA.
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Copyright 1997 and 1999 by Elizabeth (Libby) Smith Singleton. Not to be linked to, posted to other webpages, printed out (except for STRICTLY personal use), or reprinted in any publication without prior, written permission of the author.
Libby Smith Singleton is a government worker, freelance writer, amateur stage actor, and direktor/manager of The Greg Kramer Fan Klub. Among her writing credits are stories in Caliber Comic's Negative Burn #20 and Dominique: Protect And Serve, the Little Rock Free Press, and various Hanthercraft publications (www.tandra.com).