Wot Really 'Appened In LAST KNIGHT

as told by

Ratpacker Libby A. Smith




The Ratpack knows wot 'appened be-hind the scenes in LK, we dew....

See, Screed wakey-wakeyed out o' 'is coma an' dug 'isself out only tew find tha' the V-man wuz buried next tew 'im. 'E would 'ad dug 'im up, but wuz weak so's 'e decided 'e needed a shovel. Tew get a shovel legal-like, 'e 'ad tew 'ave dough. So's 'e's goes to bum a bit off o' the Baby Jane only tew find out she's in the 'ospital after 'avin' gotten shot. 'E swings by the 'ospital where 'e finds Trace in the morgue already but senses a bit o' life in 'er. Screed brings 'er across only bein' in a morgue, she ain't got no shiny-pretty 'andy-like.

Knowin' De-fec-a-tive Nicky is always good to grease a sufferin' droog's palm wit a bit o' the cash, Screed 'eads tew the loft next. Only when 'e comes thru the sky-light, 'e finds LaCroix standin' over Nicky an' Natsie wit a big, nasty lookin' stake. Screed stops LC from dewin' wot even a carouche-type knows 'e'll regret, knocks some sense intew Nick (usin' the non-pointy side o' the stake), an' watches as Nick brings Nat across just tew make sure it gets done proper az LaCroix iz tew busy talkin' 'bout life n' fruit' n' jewels tew super-vise.

It iz tha' Nunkies droog wot gives Screed a big re-ward ('specially after 'earin' Screed say tha' Urs ain't dead, she's waiting fer LaCroix in 'is ol' bedroom at the Raven). After diggin' up an' re-viv-in' Vachonetti, the hero-type carouche then 'eads off tew Vegas fer a spell where 'e runs intew Cohen n' Schanke in Janette's casino. See, Cohen n' Schanke runned off to-gether 'stead o' gettin' on tha' "fateful" airplane. 'Course 'im an' Schanke become great mates az Screed ad-mires 'is fashion sense....

An' tha's wot the Ratpack knows 'appened.