" 'Alloween," he muttered to himself, following the comment with a raspberry. "When thingees gew bump in the night. Only them mortal-types 'ave forgotten ol' Screed's suppose tew be doin' the bumpin' n' thumpin'!"

Screed's evening started bad, then went down hill quickly. His first intended victim, a businessman cutting through an alley after he'd run out of gas, simply looked at him and laughed. "Laughed at me, 'e did," Screed complained softly. "Dinna even startle the droog."

A group of trick or treaters who strayed from the usual route, seemed more promising. The oldest, dressed as Freddy Kruger, was no more than twelve, if that. Screed chose to jump out from behind a pile of garbage waiting for pickup. In previous years, that prank would've caused at least one of the urchins to leave a puddle on the pavement. No such luck this time. Instead, the oldest simply blinked and said, "Lousy costume, dude. Michelle, show him yours."

A tiny girl, so small Screed hadn't noticed her until she stepped away from the group, was dressed as a female seductress. Or so he thought until she opened her mouth. The tot's canines sported as natural looking a pair of fans as Screed had ever seen, even on his own kind. He sniffed the air suspiciously and studied her aura to make sure this wasn't some sort of freaky vampire tot, trying to fool the carouche. No such luck. She smelled like a peanut butter sandwich and an unwiped bottom. While he was still puzzling over the situation, the kids simply walked around him without so much as a by-your-leave.

Feeling a bit depressed over the way his Halloween was going, he'd decided to give up. Perhaps things were hopping a bit more at the Raven. Because he was a carouche, the higher vampires usually didn't appreciate him hanging around. But this was Halloween, surely they'd give him a break -- bird's of a feather, even if the choice of entree differed. Cutting across a cemetery, Screed saw at least a dozen mortals. Curious, he landed behind a large tomb.

"Damn it, Brad!" a teenage girl shouted. "That's not in the official rules!"

"Hey, I'm the one running this game, Janet! Nobody else has a gripe about it. If you don't like the scenario, then get your own group together!"

"Then... I'll just do that!"

The lone girl stomped toward the tomb as the rest headed for the opposite end of the cemetery. Too good an opportunity to mess, Screed immediately leapt out. He landed in a crouched position, fangs bared.

The girl, dressed in black from toe to toe, did jump back. However, she didn't scream or even faint, as wenches were prone to do in Screed's mortal days. "Nosferatu?"

"Huh?"

"What clan are you? What kind of vampire?"

Screed answered without thinking. "Carouche."

"That's not in the official rules either!" Janet cried with exasperation. "If you're going to play, you should play with the official rules!" Throwing up her hands, the girl stomped past Screed and out of the cemetery.

"Wot are you?" Screed mumbled sarcastically, imitating Janet's high pitched whine. "Mistress o' the bitch an' moan?"

A car driving past Screed's tree snapped him out of his unpleasant reflection. Grinning, he recognized the vehicle. His target had finally arrive. This one he'd scare, he had to. This was his last chance as dawn would soon bring an end to Halloween.

The trunk popped open before the woman got out of the car. She removed an obviously full paper sack, balancing it on her right knee as she pulled two plastic sacks out and closed the trunk.

Screed waited until she was under his perch, then he leapt. As he sailed to the ground, he vamped totally out. His eyes glowed and his fangs descended totally as he snarled from deep in his chest.

The tactic worked! The paper sacks dropped to the pavement, the sound of breaking glass filling the night air. The plastic bags were thrown, causing paper towels, toilet paper and other items to scatter across the parking lot.

Tracy Vetters pulled her gun.

"Gotcha, Baby Jane!" Screed shouted to the world. "Scared ya right proper, I did! Oughta 'ear yewr 'eart-thumpin' right proper, it is!"

She lowered the gun. Even in the dim light, her face was red with anger. "I'm going to kill you, Screed!"

"Somebody already beat ya tew tha' de-tail a long time ago," Screed pointed out. "Don't let the ghoulies getcha!"

As Tracy spouted nasty notions about stakes and garlic, Screed took to the air. His mind was at peace and his heart healed. This Halloween hadn't turned out so bad after all!