Hope you enjoy this ... it was written in a fit of silliness.... This is dedicated to the Ratpackers. We just never seem to get no proper respect.



A Kitty For Christmas Dinner
by Libby Smith Singleton

Nick held Natalie, rubbing her back gently as she sobbed. He didn't know what else to do, what else to say. The snow storm was growing worse, the temperature dropping dramatically. Meteorologists were forecasting a near blizzard before morning light. What words of comfort could he offer?

"I j...just opened the door long enough to carry in the packages. He's never run out like that before," Natalie cried.

"Surely he'll be okay," Nick said, hoping he sounded more reassuring than he felt. "He's probably huddling somewhere warm."

Natalie pulled away, sinking to the sofa. "You don't understand. Sidney's a house cat, always has been. The only time he's been out of a building was to go to the vets or the kennel. No, he's gone and it's all my fault."

Sitting down beside her, he kissed her forehead. "You sure you want to work tonight? I'll call in for you."

"No," Natalie said, shaking her head. "It's Christmas Eve, I doubt they could find a fill-in. This is all rather silly. Getting this way over a cat when there's dead people waiting for me at the morgue." She wiped her eyes, then blew her nose before standing. "I'll be ready to go after I wash my face and put on some more make-up. Think I'll pack a bag in case this storm strands me at the office."

She walked into the bathroom without looking back. Nick sighed, feeling helpless. The first thing he'd done when he'd found Natalie crying was rush out to search for Sidney. All his vampiric powers hadn't helped him find one small cat. What little Christmas spirit he'd managed to work up this year had disappeared along with Nat's beloved pet.




"Kicked out in the snow flat on me arse." Screed was not happy. "Ol' Lucy LaCrow just better watch himself, 'e better," the carouche muttered to himself. All he'd done was jump up on the stage to join the fun. After all, it was amateur strip night and he was definitely an amateur. Never mind that the real contestant hadn't invited him. LaCroix shouldn't have blown his top, threatening to dislocate Screed's head from his body. Always picking on him, the higher vampires were, just because he liked to snack on rats instead of messing with the human type.

Bad enough he had to drink human blood when at The Raven. It was the only kind they served on a normal basis. Screed found the stuff too strong, too full of people's thoughts and lives, so he had to cut it with a great deal of wine. This led to the problem of pissing, something even a lower vampire seldom did when on a completely digestible diet of pure blood. Wine, however, was an entirely different thing, something his body had to rid itself of. He pushed his bicycle into an alley to take care of the task.

Bladder empty, he was much more comfortable and ready for a real snack. Too bad the cold wind and increasingly heavy snow had forced the rats indoors. Still, there was always hope. He squatted, patiently sniffing the air as he listened. He heard a rapid heartbeat. The wind was too fierce even between the buildings to pick up a good scent, but Screed could tell it definitely wasn't a rat. Something a bit larger. A raccoon? Did Toronto have raccoons? He'd lived in so many places over the years he couldn't remember what animal belonged where in the world. Except for rats. They were abundant everywhere.

He slowly stalked towards the dumpster. About three feet away he picked up the smell. "'Ey, itty kitty catsie. Come to poppa Screed, aye?" He spoke softly, not wanting to startle the animal. Hypnotizing cats wasn't the easiest thing in the world, though by making eye contact he could usually manage. "Ain't gonna be running out that other end, kitty kitty. Can't be doin' that when ol' Screed be needing a Christmas dinner, a late Solstice celly-bration and all that jammy jam. Even us vampy types deserve a bit o' the treats in our stockin's, aye? Warm the ol' tum tum when there ain't no babes willin' to be sharing me sleepin' space."

Eyes locked with those of the cat, he pushed the dumpster away from the wall enough to squeeze in. Reaching out using vampiric speed, he grabbed the animal who let out a eardrum bursting scream. Screed backed out, holding the kitty at arm's length to avoid the claws which extended the second he broke the eye lock. He might heal fast, but being torn to shreds would still hurt more than the carouche vampire wanted to deal with.

Strange. This cat was unusually fat, not one of the scrawny alley variety he normally encountered and was wearing identification. He made eye contact again to calm the cat so he could examine the two tags fastened to the collar. Not that he could read what they said, he just liked the way the light penetrating from the alley made the metal shine. "Nice juicy selection, ain't ye? Betcha you got vita-minimum for-tee-fied blood, you do. Kitty ain't me favorite, but ol' Screed be bettin' me bottled ratsies gonna be froze right solid, too cold for the palate. You'll keep right nice."

Tucking the cat under one arm, he petted it, surprised to find the animal beginning to purr though he'd again broken the hypnotic stare. Scratching behind its ears, he searched for a box. Finding one, he sat the cat down into it. The animal looked up at him and mewed pitifully. "Wha'? Ya be a bit on the freezy side? Can't have ya catchin' nothin', freezin' yar veins so tha' me can't get a good bite." He took his sweater off and tucked it underneath and around the cat. Screed watched, mesmerized, as the animal pumped the garment into place before curling up. He closed the top. "That'll keep ya right toasty, ay? Think I'll leave me bike here for now and carry ya proper." He slid the bicycle behind the dumpsters to keep it from being stolen. That was, after all, how he'd gotten it in the first place.




Nick was using his meal break to hunt for Sidney. Due to the storm, the night had been unusually quiet. After catching up on paperwork, he'd even been able to design and secretly copy "lost cat" signs. He'd distributed the flyers to the few grocery and convenience stores still open, even dropping a few by The Raven which earned him a disapproving glare from LaCroix.

He'd left the Caddy at headquarters and flown only to find the wind a bit much even for a vampire. Spotting an alley, he landed to drink a few sips from the flask carried in his inside coat pocket. Leaning against the wall, he suddenly was aware of Screed's scent though he could not sense another vampire's presence. Perhaps Natalie's recent treatments had lessened that particular power a bit.

He walked over to the dumpsters to see if the carouche was hunting in them. Who better to help him find a missing pet? Screed could be bought into doing just about anything. Though there was no sign of the lower vampire, he did find his bicycle. Turning around, a shiny object one of his footsteps had uncovered caught his eye. Picking it up, Nick felt panic tighten his chest. It was Sidney's identification tag. He looked back at the bicycle, then down again at the tag.

Surely Screed wouldn't...

After digging through the garbage and not finding a cat carcass, Nick immediately took to flight. Screed might prefer rats but if he were hungry enough, anything would do. If the carouche had already fed, there should have been evidence. Hopefully, he'd find Screed before it was too late.




Screed had tied a bit of paper to the end of a piece of yarn from his sweater, allowing Sidney to chase it around his cellar dwelling. Kitties were certainly more fun than ratsies to play with. Snorting, he decided to put off his meal for a bit. Though he didn't need the warmth, his place offered enough shelter that his spare rat blood bottled in baby food jars was still edible. He was feeling a might lonely and this cat was better company than none at all.

Sensing something, Screed raised his head to look up at the door just in time to find himself flying backwards across the room and into the wall, his feet off the floor. "Well, well, well. If it ain't De-tect-a-tive Nicky Nighty-Knight come a wassailin'. Like they say, 'tis the season and all that jammy jam. 'Course ya'd think he'd be a bit more friendly-like, call ahead for an invite an'..."

"Shut up."

"Didja hear that, Kitty Kitty? He's a'tellin' old Screed to hush his trap, right here in me own abode."

"Be thankful Sidney is still alive," Nick growled through his fangs.

"Huh? Just who is this Sidney? New girlie in ya life, ay matey? Hopin' to get some kissy face 'neath the missy-toe?"

"Sidney is that cat."

Screed looked down where Sidney was now rubbing around Nick's feet, purring loudly. "Me X-mas din-din 'as a name?"

He found himself being lifted away from the wall, then slammed back, hard. Nick was about to totally lose it. Reminded Screed of LaCroix on a good day. Like father, like son, he decided, beginning to tremble in fear despite himself. "W...was thinkin' o' lettin' him live anyways. Kinda taken a fancy to 'im, I have. Yar ol' man kicked me out o' the club tonight. Feelin' a might lonely right now. Nights are kinda long right now not to 'ave your mates about and the V-man's been playin' in the band."

Nick's expression softened as he placed Screed on his feet. "I know the cat's owner. She's very upset."

"You ain't talkin' about that doctor friend o' yours? The one tryin' to make you mortal-like?"

"Yes."

Screed thought for a moment. He rather liked Nick. This vampire seldom pushed him around and always paid well when he was needing help. Plus Nick insisted on drinking cow's blood. Not that cows were considered as lowly as vermin, but it did mark him as being a bit different from the rest. "Well, guess we oughta be takin' the kitty back to its mistress, ay matey? Might be missin' 'is mum."




Natalie was trying to hold up. Not that she had much of a choice to do otherwise. She'd sent the rest of the staff home so they wouldn't risk being trapped away from their families on Christmas morning. What remained of her family lived out of town. Normally she'd be worried about getting home to feed Sidney but, well, that appeared to be a thing of the past now. Sighing, she fought back tears so she'd be able to see in order to make an incision in her latest "patient."

"Nat..."

The voice startled her to the point she jumped. She spun around, ready to spit. "Good grief, Nick! You should know better than to sneak up on me when I'm holding a sharp instrument! I could've cut my..."

A familiar "meow" interrupted her rant. She turned toward the corner. Nick reached out and pulled someone from the shadows, a scrawny, bald nervous man who was holding... "Sidney!" she said, letting the scalpel fall to the table. She ripped off her protective gloves, automatically disposing of them before taking her cat into her arms.

Sidney rubbed his head under her chin. "Nick, I...I'm sorry I snapped..."

Nick patted her shoulder. "It's okay. I just had to sneak Screed and Sidney in here. Screed found him in an alley about a mile from your apartment."

"He's..."

"One of us, yes. A carouche."

Natalie smiled at Screed who seemed to have been made even more uneasy at Nick's description. He reacted with surprise, took off his cap, then returned her gesture with a wide grin. "I was gonna have 'em for me din-din, I was. But, 'ay, just cause me kind don't celebrate the No-el, don't mean we gotta be like ol' Scrooge, right, Baby Cakes? This 'ere scene woulda warmed me 'eart if I'd still 'ad one worth the trouble. Oughta make it into a movie, ay?"

"Thanks...I think." She leaned over and whispered to Nick, "What did he say?"

"Don't worry, half the time we aren't sure either," he replied.

Natalie sat down at her chair, putting Sidney on her desk. "I was going to offer a reward."

"A bit o' the dough? Cash for the kitty, ay? Ain't gonna argue with that, I ain't..."

"That's not necessary, Nat."

Screed reached out and slapped Nick's arm with his cap. "Speak for yourself there, former mate o' mine. Las Vegas been a'callin', it 'as. Got a poker table with me name on it waitin' for me return."

Natalie opened her wallet, pulling out what bills she had to count. Screed tentatively approached her desk, then using vampiric speed grabbed the money and disappeared. She looked up at Nick, "I didn't have as much as I thought. I was going to see if he wanted to come back in a couple of days."

"Just as well, I sure don't want him to learn he could get rewarded for turning in lost pets. He's the sort who'd start 'finding' them inside their own dog pens."

Natalie petted Sidney who'd curled up for a nap as she stood, then walked back around to Nick. She hugged him. "Thank you. This was the best gift I've ever received...even if Screed nearly 'ad kitty vittles for 'is Christmas din-din," she said, doing her best to imitate the carouche's brogue. "He's the only angel I've ever met with horns and a forked tail."

"The only one?"

"Well, there may be one other," she admitted.

"Merry Christmas," Nick said, kissing her forehead.

"And hopes for a joyous New Year," she replied, squeezing him closer. "Vampire and mortals alike." Sidney meowed loudly. "Plus, of course, cats..."


END