FAQ   Cosmopolitan Emblem

Q: Who are you?
A: "Meow" ... or as we say 'er in Canada, "Miaow." I am Cosmo Kramer proud owner of a human named Greg, who leaves the house every now and again to do things not involving me, for some odd reason.

Q: Why are you making this FAQ?
A: I strongly believe in the principle of Dissemination of Information. Who am I to keep you from the knowledge you seek? The real question is: Who are you to seek this knowledge?

Q: Were you named after Cosmo Kramer from "Seinfeld"?
A: Duh!

Also, my human thinks I'm a bit ... out there. Of course, humans aren't very deep, generally speaking, so it usually doesn't take too much to impress them.

Q: When is your birthday?
A: 14 February, 1995

Q: WHY are your followers called Cosmopolitans?
A: Okay, here we go: The definition of 'cosmopolitan' is: of or from or knowing many parts of the world. Also, free from national limitations or prejudices.

Now, I like to think of myself as both well-travelled and well-read. My human and I get around. And my followers seem to embrace the philosophy that the more you know and see, the more open you can be to new people and new experiences. It's a good life, but we must never look down upon those who are not quite ready for this next level of being. Everyone in their own time, I like to purr.

Q: What is the motto of the Cosmopolitans?
A: "If it can be desired, it can be obtained."

Q: What is the symbol of the Cosmopolitans?
A: No, it is not a litter box! It is my paw print, and can be found at the top of this FAQ.

Q: What breed of cat are you?
A: An orange, short-hair tabby.

Q: What color are your eyes?
A: Yellow. But they often photograph green -- which really bugs the people down at the DMV (the Department of Mice Vivisections).

Q: What is your favorite brand of cat food, and do you prefer dry or canned?
A: Science Diet, dry, thankyouverymuch! No canned stuff -- ick! Except if you've got some kippers 'angin' about....

Q: What is your favorite toy?
A: A riding crop. Hey, you asked! ;-)

Q: What is your favorite pasttime?
A: Sitting in the window, especially in the autumn. I like to freak me dad out by catching the falling leaves -- it's an upper-story window, but I'm real good at it!

Q: Who is your favorite cat role-model, and why?
A: Why CAT himself, from Red Dwarf! This feline has style, he has grace. He even has a keen fashion sense, proving that primates are certainly NOT the top rung on the evolutionary ladder.

Q: Which of Greg's many talents is your favorite?
A: I particularly enjoy the way he scratches my tummy -- not too soft that it tickles, and not so hard that it hurts. He's got the touch, alright!

Q: Boxer, briefs, or mid-thighs (to sleep on, of course)?
A: I'm not very particular, actually. Whatever's clean and warm out of the dryer.

Q: What is your best feature?
A: My nose. It's very pink and very good at helping me investigate things.

Q: What is your worst feature?
A: My nose. It's very good at helping me investigate things, but it's not very good at keeping me out of trouble.

Q: What are some of your favorite links?
A: Sausage, of course! Oh, but you mean World Wide Web links. Well, here are just a few:

  • Kitty toys on the web (Hey Dad!!)
  • Mountain Lion Catnip -- gotta love that name
  • The Birdfeeder -- a guide for attracting wild birds to your home. Hint, hint.
  • Lion Brand Yarns -- another purrfect name
  • Fish Cam! -- yes, live images of swimming fish! Ooh!
  • Cosmopolitan Magazine on-line
  • The ~other~ Cosmo Kramer -- lots o'links